I know im young and stuff but i feel lost like i have no sense of what i want to do now or later. How did you decide what to do with your life? What free wisdom can you share?
My mom always said “you don’t need to know what you are doing for the rest of your life, just decide what you are doing for the next five years”.
Interestingly, this is basically the approach of some of the best management/leadership thinkers these days (e.g. Cynefin). I think the basic premise is “the world is changing so fast that any plans you make now might be meaningless in a decade, so focus on what’s knowable in the here and now, and your next step”. Dave Snowden from Cynefin points to Ana’s “The Next Right Thing” from Frozen 2 as excellent advice 😅
You don’t have to commit to any one thing in this life. I’m doing very little at age 51 that I was doing at age 27.
I also wasn’t doing what I truly wanted to do most in life until my 40s.
I fell into it. Needed a job, saw a sign, liked it, now I’m manager.
Same. Started working retail, floated over into the pharmacy since they needed help, and I’ve been there since.
Just try stuff and see where it takes you. Talk to lots of people from different walks of life too.
You don’t need a job you love, hardly anyone gets to do that. It’s amazing if you can, but a job you can tolerate is really all you need. Keep your eyes open for opportunities, take them if it feels right. Trust your instincts.
Save some money. Having a bit of financial freedom can drastically help you with having flexibility to do different things, and you need to do lots of different things to figure out what you like.
You will have to sacrifice comfort at some point and take some leaps into the unknown when the opportunity presents itself.
Most of all, get out of your hometown. The single biggest influence I’ve seen on people turning out great or people getting stuck in their ways is experiencing different things. College can get you part way there, but travel and living away from your hometown, especially if you can swing something international for a while, can help you immensely.
A job is a place you go where somebody pays you to do something you don’t want to do. You then use that money to fuck off and do the things you do want to do.
There are few people in the world who legit like their job.
Stop looking at other people’s answers. Every time I ever looked out instead of in for the next big step it ended up being a gigantic mistake that blew up in my face.
the only reason I look out sometimes is because my world is so small and I know there’s so much else out there that I don’t know about. Plus, I was a sheltered child so asking outwards means I get a variety of perspectives to choose and learn from rather than whatever bs my parents taught me
Good answer. Ironically, pretty much all the answers here are good, and worth looking at (because they are mostly broad, general advice)
I’m not sure I know what I want for life but I have a number of things I don’t want so I’m trying my best to steer clear of those.
The only air conditioned room at my first duty station was a closet they called a server room… No one wanted to do the computer stuff when the cool toys were on the airstrip.
As for advice… Don’t be scared, every adult you meet is faking it to some extent and it took me a long time to realize it. Also, be wary of random advice on the internet lol.
I think the best advice I can give is "stay focused, alert, and highly flexible. I certainly did not end up where I thought I was going to go.
- At 16 I wanted to study psychology.
- At 17 (college freshman) I studied philosophy assuming I’d go into law like my father.
- I graduated with a finance degree
- At 21 I began a career in IT (sysadmin) by turning my hobby into a job
- At 26 I began mixing my love of information security, and backgrounds in finance and law.
- At 31 I started my own company because my field was too niche to justify working for only one company
- At 52 I shitpost in Lemmy while trying to keep this country’s shit infrastructure from collapsing.
I didn’t, I made a career choice early high school to become a lawyer, because it’s arguing with logic and is well paid, then I realized that not only is that quite a competitive field with lots of people going to law school, but I am also not a fan of the social part of it, so I pivoted to Software Engineering late high school and went to University for that, I have been doing that ever since, I enjoy it, it pays well.
As for the rest of my life, I have never really had plans, but I was always nihilistic and I also don’t want kids, so it’s kinda meh, but I have discovered some things I truly love doing, like going to techno parties and such, so I do that.
Then whatever happens will happen.
The short answer is, whatever you want.
For the longest time I too had no idea, though I knew what I didn’t want to do. I just didn’t want to deal with anyone else’s bullshit.
So i made enough money to have my own place and make my own choices.
For now I recommend you take a Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs approach. Secure the Physiological and Safety Needs and the rest will follow.
In order to do P and S in western society you need to make enough money to pay all your own bills.
I was changing majors in college like changing clothes… but was the only one in my dorm that had her own computer and dot matrix printer and knew how to fix it. (yes I’m old) Took me way too long to figure out that my hobby was the foundation for a career.
…point being that you might be good at something that has value and you aren’t recognizing it.
I wanted to rock but my dad belittled me until I told him explicitly that “I wanna rock”, somehow saying those words made me spin in place and change into an adult glam rocker. The resulting explosion launched my father (a veteran) thru the roof. All my mother would do to help him was spray him with water.
He died from his injuries
I’m almost 50 and still don’t know. The best advice I can give is to try lots of things. Very few people just know, and even they didn’t know until they tried.
I found out that it’s more important to be flexible and be able to grab opportunities when they appear than to make the “right” decision.
There’s no right answer on how to live your life.
And besides that we live in times that are changing so rapidly that what you might be doing in the next 10 years donesnt even exists right now.
Just keep your brain sharp and your body healthy and you’ll be set.
