Some random dude walked up to me while I was waiting outside a food place for my food and asked me this question.
I said “no, I dont give out random favors” and something along the lines of that’s sus.
Is it rude to say no to random dude that asks for a favor?
Not gonna lie, I was here to call you an asshole for not even hearing out the request, then I read it was a random dude on the street. Nah, refusing to engage with strangers on the street in any capacity is not rude and, depending on where you live, it may be a smart thing to do.
“You can ask.”
He was probably going to ask you to take a photo or something. It’s fine to say no, but kind of rude to refuse to hear the request.
It would be rude to not even allow them to ask. But it wouldn’t be rude to turn down the favor after hearing what it is.
(Seriously: If it’s a stranger, it’s not rude at all. It’s actually more rude to ask a complete stranger for a random favor)
Your stance is that I’m required to say yes for some random street person to ask you for a favor?
As in yes, please explain the favor first so I can say no afterwards?
I suffer from anxiety and nearly had a panic attack. Been mugged and had broken bone from it.
Edit, i guess I could have handled it better and was slightly rude for immediate denial.
I don’t think you’re required to do it, personally, but I agree that it would be rude to not even hear someone out. Especially with someone you know even as an acquaintance. It could be anything from, “can you hold this for a second” to “do you mind splitting this $8000 timeshare with me?”
If it’s just a completely random person on the street, and their first word is “can you do me a favor” that’s different. I think it’s still rude, I just also think that when you engage with entirely random people being rude is acceptable sometimes. Especially if there’s an actual reason for you to feel unsafe- if you’re alone/it’s a shady area type thing.
This probably depends on the area, though. I’m from the southeastern US and from my understanding people engage with each other waaay more in public here than they do in- as a random example- New York.
I have severe anxiety too. It is an unfortunate additional challenge, but it does not absolve us our part in society nor give us an excuse to treat others poorly.
‘No.’ is a complete sentence and you do not have to justify yourself in any way. I don’t think that would be considered rude, either.
“You can ask.”
It’s still a bit passive aggressive, I would feel.
I think if I were quick of thought (oh, how I wish!) I’d reply something positive like, “sure, what’s up?” And then if the request were too onerous I’d say, “sorry, I can’t.”
When a stranger asks for a favor but then doesn’t immediately tell you what that favor is 9 times out of 10 it’s some bullshit you definitely don’t want to say yes to so just the phrasing of the initial question would make me feel less inclined to respond something nice.
Not my experience. I think “can I ask you a favour” is a normal opener to a request, rather than splurting out the whole request right away.
Depends on tone, for sure.
A good answer
That’s a pretty good answer. Indicates you’re not taking any bullshit without being rude.
You do not owe any random person anything.
(yes really. It may be rude on occasion but you do not owe politeness to just anyone either. And oftentimes politeness is also abused)
you are not obligated to speak to a random person in public at all
As some others have said, no, it’s not rude to decline. Whether or not it’s rude is in how you word it. You were rude in this particular instance.
I’d like to advocate that - even if it is rude - it shouldn’t be a problem. What I mean is, if you ask someone you don’t know well for a favour, and you get a rude or borderline aggressive reply, just accept it and walk away. So many of us give weird-sounding answers in the spur of the moment, with no bad intentions. When you hear/receive one of those weird replies, it does no harm to give it the benefit of the doubt.
I don’t disagree, but the question was whether or not it’s rude. So that’s what I stuck to.
On the contrary, it’d be rude to expect any other answer. Shoving expectations onto a complete stranger and then judging them for firmly denying you is what’s rude here.
The question is rude in this context. It’s not rude to completely ignore rude questions.
Your rationalization sounds like some self centered manipulative bullying bullshit.
I don’t think it’s rude. It’s a favor, after all, not expected behavior.
I almost always respond with, “depends on the favor.” They could be asking for you to take their picture; they could be asking for $1000 for their MLM. I’m not signing a blank check by answering “yes”.
This is my go-to as well, never fails. Because a lot of the things people want me to do for them (especially at work in public-facing job) are legitimately things I won’t or don’t want to do.
Well, yes, I would say it’s rude if you have no reason to say no. At least hear them out is usually considered nice.
But…
If the person is clearly wanting to sell something to me, or trick me into something, or take advantage of me (typical in touristic places) I would just say “no thanks” and move on.
my usual answer when I’m suspecting some kind of boundary-pushing behavior is “well you can ask…” …but I have to hear out my psych patients, you don’t owe strangers the same obligation.
Congrats, you just dodged a fae bargain.
To be not rude, all you have to do is be polite.
If a stranger politely asks if you can do them a favor, you don’t have to say yes, and you don’t even have to ask what the favor is, but to be polite you do have to non-offensively respond to what they said. Like you can just reply “sorry, I’m busy right now” and keep walking on your way
It’s difficult to keep walking when you are sitting and waiting for food.
I was giving an example, you aren’t limited to just that exact response
I guess i may have been slightly rude for immediate denial of a stranger invading my personal space.
Is walking up to you and asking something while your waiting considered invading your personal space? Thats insane to me.
Said in another comment, he walked up to my table said hi and reached out to shake hands, set his stuff down on the table I was sitting at.
“Sorry, I can’t help you.” Why? Because sometimes I hand out random favors, but not today to you.
Why? Because I can’t, like I said.
No one has to justify themselves. You asked, I said no. The end.
