During my sobriety I’ve been taking something called suboxone. You could liken it to an opiate blocker, though it does have a degree of a sedative effect.
This becomes unnoticeable after a while.
2 months ago I decided to stop taking it, as it was no longer required.
And so it turns out the mild sedation was not so mild at all. I was emotionally numb to a degree that I had forgotten what either positive or negative really felt like.
It has been tough. I have no desire to return to my old life, I have no cravings. I’ve had a constant underlying headache from various parts of my body being incredibly tense since the beginning.
But coming back into the world full of feelings and a nervous system that’s been half asleep for a decade has been really, really hard. Everything feels so intense, both emotionally and physically.
I love it. But it’s hard work. I’m stuck in this “reconfiguration” stage and I think I’ve mindlessly said “man, today has been a hard day” every day for a few weeks now.
I’ve played the best music I’ve probably played in my life over the last 2 months. I feel like myself. I’m excited. But it’s a struggle. Were I not already somewhat used to dealing with stuff like this by myself, I think I would have run back to the medicine.
No one I know in real life knows about what’s happening. I just needed to get it out of my system.
I’m so proud of you friend, all you have survived, your willpower and perseverance is inspiring. You’re the kindest most thoughtful person I’ve the honour of knowing. Whatever happens I know you’re going to pull through and be that much more stronger for it!
Brains are amazing at recovering and reconfiguring. It will get easier. You’ve done so many hard things, and come through it. We are here for the vents any time you need it!
I feel like people don’t understand the impact medication has when it flattens everything out. Drugs may get rid of the lows, but they also shave off all the highs and that can take quite a toll on you
During my sobriety I’ve been taking something called suboxone. You could liken it to an opiate blocker, though it does have a degree of a sedative effect.
This becomes unnoticeable after a while.
2 months ago I decided to stop taking it, as it was no longer required.
And so it turns out the mild sedation was not so mild at all. I was emotionally numb to a degree that I had forgotten what either positive or negative really felt like.
It has been tough. I have no desire to return to my old life, I have no cravings. I’ve had a constant underlying headache from various parts of my body being incredibly tense since the beginning.
But coming back into the world full of feelings and a nervous system that’s been half asleep for a decade has been really, really hard. Everything feels so intense, both emotionally and physically.
I love it. But it’s hard work. I’m stuck in this “reconfiguration” stage and I think I’ve mindlessly said “man, today has been a hard day” every day for a few weeks now.
I’ve played the best music I’ve probably played in my life over the last 2 months. I feel like myself. I’m excited. But it’s a struggle. Were I not already somewhat used to dealing with stuff like this by myself, I think I would have run back to the medicine.
No one I know in real life knows about what’s happening. I just needed to get it out of my system.
Thanks for listening.
/vent
It’s a great achievement to even put that into words, well done!
If you’ve through a lot but I’ve also had the fortitude to get through it.
You’re a good person and deserve everything that life has to offer.
It’s an incredibly hard thing you’ve gone through.
We’re here for you man, always. you’re a kind soul and don’t forget that.
So many hugs. You’re incredibly brave and strong, don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. ( and good too. )
Thank you :)
I’m so proud of you friend, all you have survived, your willpower and perseverance is inspiring. You’re the kindest most thoughtful person I’ve the honour of knowing. Whatever happens I know you’re going to pull through and be that much more stronger for it!
I knoww. Plus he’s the best cat dad in the world .😭
That’s really kind of you :)
We are always listening, my dude. We’ve got your back!
Brains are amazing at recovering and reconfiguring. It will get easier. You’ve done so many hard things, and come through it. We are here for the vents any time you need it!
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU MATE
I hope that soon you can be desensitised to all the reconfiguration stuff and that nasty constant headache fucks off
I feel like people don’t understand the impact medication has when it flattens everything out. Drugs may get rid of the lows, but they also shave off all the highs and that can take quite a toll on you