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Qfxrp6829#
Keep a bishop hidden behind the toilet until your opponent forgets about it
Bishops take off diagonally to the new world to find other boards to civilize.
You can actually play this at https://infinitechess.org/!
Queen is a ballistic nuke
Maybe even a two stage RT-2PM Topol intercontinental ballistic missile?
Nuclear chess exists
Every take blows up around the pieces
Sounds balanced
