How about a nice Kermit the Frog?

Expected this to be an onion headline at first

Technically default, but none of my devices make any sounds. Watch notifies me of events only haptically.

Same. I remember him like becoming a thing and then I saw a video where there was all this panic about losing a bunch of data since it was all stored on a striped array with no backup, and I’m thinking “this guy is giving tech tips?” I wasn’t sure if it was satire, but I thought it was dumb and found him / his staff just annoying.

Literally doing this right now

sigh Jesus fucking Christ

Nor should he be. Ever.