Context: A young adult tells his mother that he’s depressed and that life is meaningless and that he wants to die (suicide is not directly mentioned but implied). Then the mother proceeds to express “regretting giving birth to you” directly to that young adult.
(That young adult is me)
I wouldn’t be shocked your mother is processing shame/guilt in this comment she made.
I’ve always tried to remain curious and open minded in my life. Do you know what I didn’t expect coming into motherhood? Needing to learn how to segregate my sense of self from my kid’s.
It was instinctual to feel my child’s embarrassment/guilt/pain as my own, or as a reflection apon me. While some actions kids make are a reflection of parenting, some are not. It’s hard to distinguish in the early years, I imagine it carried through the life stages if not adressed. Basically it’s learning to see a literal dna extension of yourself as their own being. Your mom caught some adrenaline from hearing you’re feeling depressed or she wouldn’t have said something so emotional and targeted.
I bet she’s overwhelmed and clearly doesn’t have the coping. Don’t take it personally, like, don’t internalize that shit. She too, her own person, and you didn’t ask for this. Feel free to keep your distance from her for a time. If you feel comfortable when you’re both in better headspace, tell her what she said hurt your feelings.
If she responds poorly, well mom’s a shit head and now you know it. If she responds kindly and apologizes, you’ve ground to work with.
I haven’t talked to my mom in 15 years, she responded poorly.
I hope you feel better, I’m glad you’re here today. Take care