Last year I identified a workplace poop toilet for myself. It’s in the next building over. It’s a single toilet. A men’s toilet. It’s outside a large office in which only women work. So this toilet is always unused. Always clean. Always private. If I (rarely ever) need to poop at work, this is where I go.
Today I was on my way and a work acquaintance intercepted me. Every turn I took, he seemed to be going the same way and was telling me about his mother’s fractured hip along the way. I had to walk twice as far beyond where I intended and finally shook him with a bogus excuse for needing to go to some unrelated department; and then had to check around corners while I double back.
I’ve made it though. Just wanted to update you all about this while I’m on the throne.
“Identified?” I think “claimed” would be a better word choice.
When walking with him you can always fake a phone notification, sigh, and then say “I’m sorry, I’ve got to address this. Have a great day!” Even better if you select a place with chairs nearby, and you sit down as you start reading/typing. It signals you’re going to be there for awhile and disengaging with everything outside of the phone/laptop.
The most important thing is to keep that toilet location a secret.
Rarely? I tend to plan to shit at work so I get paid to do it and don’t use any consumables I’d otherwise have to pay for.
Since getting a bidet at home, away games aren’t fun at all.
There are portable bidets that are basically water containers with squirt nozzles. If not on hand, you can always use an empty water bottle. But yes, a proper bidet is still king.
A water bottle and some elbow grease.
Is that to lube up your asshole before you insert the bottle?
You just gotta plan properly:
Toilet Paper Foam Instant Wet Wipe 2 Pack – SquattyPotty https://www.squattypotty.com/products/toilet-paper-foam-instant-wet-wipe-2-pack
Never as good as home field advantage, but it makes away games enjoyable.
Pairs well with Enema Coffee 1lb
One I upgraded to an extended bowl/extra tall, nothing else will do. Plenty of room in the front for my junk and the water level of way down there so no splash-back.
The boss makes a dollar and I make a dime, that’s why I shit on company time.
As appealing as that sounds, the awesomeness of having the Steam Deck for a top tier gaming poop at home can’t be undervalued.
I have a work sp and cell phone for such times.
Huzzah protect the secret
A poop delayed is a poop well made.
I have a coworker who does this all the time. Half the time i get rid of him by saying “Excuse me, I am about to violently shit my pants.” And walk off. Sometimes not even in the direction of a bathroom.
Point is, everyone poops. They shouldn’t care if you have to do an important bodily function and they certainly have no right to prevent you from pooping.
It’s keeping the secret of the glorious private pooper that is the problem here.
Mostly this 👆
For the longest time, there were two tenants - both with an all-female staff - on a floor in my building. It was incredible.
Then the floor filled up and I’d be lying to say it wasn’t part of my reason for going full time WFH.
The team I work with is 13 women, an other guy and me. There is zero bullshit to deal with, it’s great. It does really put it in perspective. Every other workplace I was a part of, it always seemed to be other men that were hard to work with, never women.
Maybe I just got lucky but I’m going to attribute it to the gender ratio. Although the type of work might have something to do with it, the other places were more blue collar.
Meanwhile I’m stuck in a men’s room with stalls that have seams between the doors that are wide enough to push a finger through and they’re open at the bottom for at least a foot. Everyone can just watch you sitting there taking a dump. I like my privacy in those moments.
Of course I won’t sit on those things either as they’re always pissed and shat under; people have a lot of trouble aiming, I guess. Or cleaning up after themselves
Half the time someone tried flushing down ten sheets of hand towels, which obviously doesn’t work so just about every other day at least one of two stalls (that serve up to three floors) are stuck
This building sucks balls
