Possibly the cruelest irony of adulthood is that autonomy comes with a shit load of terms and conditions.
For instance, I could eat cookies for breakfast, lunch, and dinner every day if I wanted to. But it would result in diabetes, obesity, and eventually death. So yes, theoretically I could do it. But not if I want to live for very long.
Damn shame too because I have a weakness for chocolate chip cookies.
Diabetes and obesity in the long term, heartburn and indigestion in the short term.
My first realization that I was truly an adult came when I was in the checkout line at Albertsons, saw a stack of freshly made peach pies, and realized I could just buy one and eat the whole thing, cuz I was a grownup. So I did!
Ooooh how was it?
Fantastic! I pretty much just ate peach pie all weekend. And also, I’ve made tons of pies since then but almost always buy peach pie premade, because peeling and slicing those slippery suckers is a bitch.
I always wanted to grow up so I could eat ice cream whenever I wanted. Welp, grew up, now my tumtum hurts after one scoop. Life’s cruel irony.
Not if you’re trying to care about your health! Dieting is haaaard.
‘Whenever I want’ doesn’t mean every day.
who doesn’t want cookies every day
It does if you want cookies every day.
