They call me godless when they use Comic Sans top to bottom.
Hey you sure seem grumpy. Are you atheist?
Avoid talking to them!
They might make sense, and we haven’t finished indoctrinating you!
witnessing techniques
I’m not even gonna ask.
It’s their word for “proselytizing”
Holy shit. I can’t believe I recognize this art.
This shit is ancient, and it was drawn as satire/bait. Nobody is handing out these flyers seriously. This post is rather embarrassing. Satire is dead I guess.
Edit: sources:
Source for text: scroll for text. I don’t know where the goat went. This website is a high-effort satire page that hasn’t been updated since like 2010. Looks real at first glance but just click around, it’s clearly not a real church.
I don’t know where the goat went.
It tries to serve you
.swf
(Shockwave Flash) versions unless your browser doesn’t support embedding, in which case it’ll serve you.gif
s instead. I guess that, since modern browsers do support embedding in general but not Flash, that’s why they don’t display either version.Here are some of the
.gif
alternatives:So I followed your link, found the quoted text, and and had a look around the website. I genuinely cannot tell if this is satire. Most of the links are now dead, but the ones that work seem to lead to serious sources. If it is satire, it is very high effort.
Anyway, I’m going to share with a friend who has more personal experience with this kind of thing and get their perspective.
It’s very well written satire. As someone who’s previously been part of evangelical house churches I can tell it’s been written by someone who was part of church life for years.
It’s so very well done I wasn’t sure myself of it was real or not. Believe it or not I’ve known many genuine Christians who could crank out earnest content that was this cheesy and insane.
The clincher for me if that it neither asks for money nor gives an address. => Satire
(On the kids ministry page, the music track listings are particular genius)
There is an image to a shop page:
This link is broken. Hmm… If this were a real organization that needed money, wouldn’t they either shut this site down entirely or fix their shop page?
Notice the LOL acronym. Now visit this page:
Here are some of my favorites (notice most of these children are pretty talented and drawing with computer programs in 2010):
Edit: I should have grabbed the image with “shotacat” lmao
So quick update: my friend who was homeschooled in a religious household but is now atheist thinks it is not satire. My take is that if this is satire, it’s going over a lot of people’s heads.
Well, there’s this…
…but honestly, I could see somebody sufficiently naive not recognizing that for what it is.
This one, however, is a bit less covert:
And then you recall reading this in the intro on the first page, and a pattern starts to develop:
My OBJECTIVE is JUST 4 KIDZ! The “Z” is for “ZEALOUSNESS,” 'cause Jesus wants us to be hot for Him, not lukewarm.